I was folding a pair of my husbands pants the other day, and I kept thinking the same thing. How ugly are these pants? Worn, shapeless khaki chinos, blech. Sure, khaki is a neutral, and while somebody else would describe them as "comfortable"; I would call them shapeless. The fact remains, they're ugly. Of course, as Pete would surely point out, they don't get worn to "important" functions. Meaning: they're fair game for any time other than meetings, certain entertainment venues (opera, ballet, etc.), nice restaurants, and miscellaneous jobs. Any other time (casual lunch, etc), they're good to go.
So here's my question, why? Why wear ugly pants? Yes yes, when your in your teens and twenties and sure that all the rules of the world should be torn away, you can get away with shapeless ugly clothes. Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. If you don't have anything, your free to say SCREW THE WORLD, I don't have to conform to societies rules, I will be a vegan and be as unattractive as I please (because of course as anybody over 35 realizes, hardly anybody under the age of 25 is rarely ever truly unattractive). I will wear baggy pants that make my ass look 50, I will wear ugly clothes that make people think I live on the street, I will wear comfortable shoes that make me look like a spinster or hipster.
But, if you are 25 or older, and working and living in the real world where you have to wear "appropriate" clothing, why not make even your casual wear fabulous? You really think people admire you because "you don't care about outward appearance" still? You think people are drawn to you because you wear "comfortable" clothes? You really think people admire you because you wear blah colors and ill fitting sweaters and hoodies. They don't. They think you're a slouchy, lazy, slob. Why shouldn't they? Isn't that what you want them to think? Of course it is, otherwise you would find "fabulous, happy, fun" clothes. Notice I didn't say "uncomfortable".
I'm not nearly as strict as the hosts of What Not To Wear, I don't have a problem with faded and worn jeans, as long as they flatter your ass (which is what jeans are designed to do). Slouchy, saggy butt doesn't look good on anybody. News flash guys, take it from a gay hairstylist, I know what your women think. There is not one single woman I have ever talked to that likes a guy to look like he has a saggy ass. If you were in a womans romance novel, would you be wearing saggy pants? Not if you want to have sex.
Faded jeans can look awesome if you pair it with a nice, and flattering blouse or shirt. And a nice pair of shoes. Pete thinks I'm like Imelda Marcos, but actually I have an extremely reasonable number of shoes. One pair of nice loafers, one pair of nice half boots, 2 pairs of boots, (all work shoes). I have two pairs of very nice, but not as comfortable dress shoes. A pair of amazing blue suede loafers for being fabulous, and a pair of patent leather "fancy" shoes for black tie events. A pair of "garden" shoes that are trashed, and miscellaneous casual slippers, sandals, and flip-flops. Honestly, I could use a few more types. I can't imagine why I would have less. I buy high quality shoes, that aren't too trendy, and they last me 10 years or more if I take care of them. I think that's a bargain.
Track suits can be fine. As long as they fit, and aren't unnatural and eye bleeding-ly bright colors. And really ladies, rhinestones? Come on, a track suit is not a rock band outfit. Fringe, glitter, and glow paint looks silly. Do you really think your husband/boyfriend/partner/wife really wants to look like she's walking down the street with an adult sized kindergartner? Please, have some dignity, that's all I ask. But really, a pair of butt flattering jeans is better than a track suit in literally every situation. By the way ladies (and some gents), what is the problem with skirts? Seriously, I look forward to the pleasant weather (which in this area means 75% of the year) so I can wear my kilt. You live in a desert, pants don't make sense. Shorts, yah, but I look silly in skater shorts, and I feel stupid in short "Dad" shorts. So for me the answer is kilt. Yay.
And don't even go there ladies, I'm sorry but, if you are over the age of twelve, for god's sake do not wear leggings and baggy shirts!! They do not "camouflage", they make. you. look. fat. period. Just don't. Please.
A jacket for all seasons is a must, and yes, you are too old for hoodies, unless your in high school. Buy a nice coat, scarf, and cute hat, there's no reward for weatherproof. Look like an adult, and you will be treated like one, and being an adult rocks.
So come and join me people, ugly pants don't always rock!-David
So here's my question, why? Why wear ugly pants? Yes yes, when your in your teens and twenties and sure that all the rules of the world should be torn away, you can get away with shapeless ugly clothes. Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. If you don't have anything, your free to say SCREW THE WORLD, I don't have to conform to societies rules, I will be a vegan and be as unattractive as I please (because of course as anybody over 35 realizes, hardly anybody under the age of 25 is rarely ever truly unattractive). I will wear baggy pants that make my ass look 50, I will wear ugly clothes that make people think I live on the street, I will wear comfortable shoes that make me look like a spinster or hipster.
But, if you are 25 or older, and working and living in the real world where you have to wear "appropriate" clothing, why not make even your casual wear fabulous? You really think people admire you because "you don't care about outward appearance" still? You think people are drawn to you because you wear "comfortable" clothes? You really think people admire you because you wear blah colors and ill fitting sweaters and hoodies. They don't. They think you're a slouchy, lazy, slob. Why shouldn't they? Isn't that what you want them to think? Of course it is, otherwise you would find "fabulous, happy, fun" clothes. Notice I didn't say "uncomfortable".
I'm not nearly as strict as the hosts of What Not To Wear, I don't have a problem with faded and worn jeans, as long as they flatter your ass (which is what jeans are designed to do). Slouchy, saggy butt doesn't look good on anybody. News flash guys, take it from a gay hairstylist, I know what your women think. There is not one single woman I have ever talked to that likes a guy to look like he has a saggy ass. If you were in a womans romance novel, would you be wearing saggy pants? Not if you want to have sex.
Faded jeans can look awesome if you pair it with a nice, and flattering blouse or shirt. And a nice pair of shoes. Pete thinks I'm like Imelda Marcos, but actually I have an extremely reasonable number of shoes. One pair of nice loafers, one pair of nice half boots, 2 pairs of boots, (all work shoes). I have two pairs of very nice, but not as comfortable dress shoes. A pair of amazing blue suede loafers for being fabulous, and a pair of patent leather "fancy" shoes for black tie events. A pair of "garden" shoes that are trashed, and miscellaneous casual slippers, sandals, and flip-flops. Honestly, I could use a few more types. I can't imagine why I would have less. I buy high quality shoes, that aren't too trendy, and they last me 10 years or more if I take care of them. I think that's a bargain.
Track suits can be fine. As long as they fit, and aren't unnatural and eye bleeding-ly bright colors. And really ladies, rhinestones? Come on, a track suit is not a rock band outfit. Fringe, glitter, and glow paint looks silly. Do you really think your husband/boyfriend/partner/wife really wants to look like she's walking down the street with an adult sized kindergartner? Please, have some dignity, that's all I ask. But really, a pair of butt flattering jeans is better than a track suit in literally every situation. By the way ladies (and some gents), what is the problem with skirts? Seriously, I look forward to the pleasant weather (which in this area means 75% of the year) so I can wear my kilt. You live in a desert, pants don't make sense. Shorts, yah, but I look silly in skater shorts, and I feel stupid in short "Dad" shorts. So for me the answer is kilt. Yay.
And don't even go there ladies, I'm sorry but, if you are over the age of twelve, for god's sake do not wear leggings and baggy shirts!! They do not "camouflage", they make. you. look. fat. period. Just don't. Please.
A jacket for all seasons is a must, and yes, you are too old for hoodies, unless your in high school. Buy a nice coat, scarf, and cute hat, there's no reward for weatherproof. Look like an adult, and you will be treated like one, and being an adult rocks.
So come and join me people, ugly pants don't always rock!-David
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